Artsy depression: haunted eyes, good at art, emo hair and eyeliner on point
Actual Depression: bloodshot eyes, no longer trust themselves with pencils, has not showered in five days
Quirky OCD: organized books, clean room, color coordinated outfits
Actual OCD: Intrusive thoughts, flipping the light switch 8 times so you don’t stab your brother, picking holes in your skin
Cute eating disorders: Slim trim and beautiful, shyly refusing a second helping, dancer aesthetic
Actual eating disorders: Puffy cheeks and eroded teeth from excessive vomiting, hair growing over your freezing body and refusing to eat carrots because they’re too high in carbs
Adorable anxiety: just a smol bean, soft, must be protected from the world
Actual anxiety: crying so hard you throw up, shaking, losing sleep over a period after the “okay”
RPG PTSD: flashbacks, vietnam, u don’t know what i’ve been through kiddo
Actual PTSD: Buying your first pregnancy test at twelve, flinching at high fives, i can’t feel my hands where am I what year is it
Cartoon ADHD: look a squirrel, something shiny, fidgety loveable bufoon
Actual ADHD: rereading the same page over and over because it doesn’t make sense, hasn’t done the laundry in four months, hyperfocusing on a mushroom knowing you have work to do
stop making terrifying realities seem cute. it’s disrespectful for those of us who are actually struggling
To all of my fellow humans who have experienced sexual abuse of any kind:
I hear you and I will not stop fighting for survivors.
I may not understand exactly how you are feeling, but I have been fighting my own demons for months now, and I know how painful it is.
If you didn’t report, that is okay. The circumstances were not right for you, and I completely understand that.
If you did report, congrats for getting through a horrifically draining process. I hope that you got some justice from it.
Your abuser wasn’t arrested? Nor was mine. That doesn’t mean our stories are not true.
Its okay to struggle with intimacy. You will find someone who accepts you for all that you are.
You are going to get through this. Everything does NOT happen for a reason. You did not deserve the abuse, but you will grow through the healing process. Healing is not linear. If you have a good day, you deserve it. It doesn’t mean your trauma isn’t real. You are allowed happiness too. If you have a bad day, embrace your pain, but take care of yourself. You are a survivor. I believe you and I believe in you.
